Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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