we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
