he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize