Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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