Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
