She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
