Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
