You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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