I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
