We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
