Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
