I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
