I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Randomize
