a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Say something about gay babies.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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