I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
my poor anus
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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