I just made out with a guy for $7.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize