Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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