Me too!
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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