so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize