it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
