Kareoke will never be a sober sport
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
