Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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