My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
