they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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