Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
