I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
