So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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