yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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