That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
