u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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