if you like me you must not know who I am
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
