how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
