Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
