I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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