It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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