Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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