we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
