I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
