i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
