omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
