there's paper in my vomit.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
