Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
