Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize