I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
