Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize