12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
