After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
