ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
