Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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