It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
