Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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