Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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