oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
