margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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