Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
