we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Randomize
