i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
they need to just BURY HIM!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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